Oh dear friends, the things that I do in your loyal service. I think that after this weeks beverage I may need to regroup and really reconsider what we're doing here. As it turns out Mr. Collins (formerly known as 'Tom') has proven himself unwilling to leave and we've had to have a restraining order put out on him. It's not pretty but here's the story....
So yeah this may have been named the Gin Sour, but I present to you "Tim Collins", the bastard brother of sophisticated Tom.
Popular in the 1940's, gin sours went out of fashion along with the Edsel, the poodle skirt, and the Truman administration. But just like Give 'Em Hell Harry, this one is primed for a comeback. For authentic Prohibition-era flavor, use bathtub gin instead of that fancy bottled stuff.
"Remember [Massachusetts] Governor Bill Weld? If you could go out drinking until late and still make it into work the next day, you were okay in his book. Same with me."
- Leo, 75, retired banker
1oz lemon juice
1/2tsp superfine sugar
I know what you're thinking, "Maurice, you already reviewed this drink last week. We know because we drank it along with you and my what good times we had. And you have such a hawt rockin' body.. " and so on. It's ok, that's all normal (especially the rockin' body part)! There is however one ingredient missing and as it turns out a VERY key ingredient! As we sat down to put this drink together I have to sheepishly admit that I was a little bit over-confident that this weeks entry was going to be something of a cake-walk. I mean it's only missing a little club soda, right?!
Yeah so here's the thing: club soda, it's a magic ingredient. I can only assume why the absence of those little fizzy bubbles ruined EVERYTHING - something to do with the club soda keeping the sugar from settling at the bottom of the glass or something-something, but the truth is I have no idea. I know this: this Gin Sour is appropriately named. It was akin to sucking a lemon and punching yourself in the face. Upon my first sip I exclaimed, "Oh My God, it's like I kicked in the face by a mule". Every further sip induced the following face:
I did my best, I soldiered on as much as I could and even poured myself a second glass of this vile prank but I couldn't muster any more. Mercifully I got to the bottom of the second glass and I noticed that there was a build-up of sugar that never dissolved and assimilated into the rest of the drink. I think the sugar KNEW how revolting this drink was going to be anyway and abstained from the normal laws of chemistry to avoid being grouped together with this abomination. As you might have gathered by now.... I was not a fan of this drink. So much so that by 9pm my evening of drinking had ended and I was relegated to water for the duration of the night.
Final review time. I think there's not too much more that I can say so here's the skinny: this drink gets 1 donkey-punch in a prison shower. And may I never drink anymore gin as long as I live..
Oh wait. there's still another 20-something gin drinks left in this book. Its time to build a bigger basket!